Emotions
by baby le
Summary: Sydney and Vaughn learn to deal with each other on their 1st mission together since the season 2 finale. RR! thanx! D complete
1. chapter 1

/b I don't own anyone...as much as I would LOVE to own Vaughn. haha...`=P They all belong to ABC and the little people that run JJ's mind. `=P   
  
bAuthor's Note::/b this takes place right after the finale [yeah, i know. but, what's one more, eh?]. I don't have much to note you about. PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!!   
  
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She couldn't take her eyes off the ring, plain as it looked. She mentally searched for a matching one on her hand. But, she realized that she didn't have the matching ring on her. Vaughn soon launched himself into an explanation that began with them, meaning the CIA, looking for her that night after her fight with "Francie".   
  
"Ugh, 'Francie'," she thought. She couldn't believe that the one person who held her connection to reality was actually gone.   
  
"Of all people, why Francie?" she kept on thinking. She couldn't bare to listen to Vaughn's recollection of that night. She wanted to know WHY he had that ring on his finger. He wasn't up to it yet. She listened to him go on and sensed that he was trying to avoid telling her about the ring. She finally got fed up with him stalling.   
  
"Vaughn, just tell me why you're wearing that ring." she asked him in a calm and cooled tone. He finally explained it to her.   
  
"We looked everywhere for you. When no trace, absolutely no trace of you turned up, it was concluded that you were dead."  
  
"Glad to know everyone tried," she said with a hint of sarcasm. She wasn't making this easy. Even though she was very cool and calm, he knew that she hated him to his very core. He began to tell her about how moving on from her wasn't the easiest thing to do. He had to leave the agency for awhile. He had to get away from anything and everything that reminded him of her. But then he met a woman named Melanie. He never had any real intention of marrying her. DATING her wasn't even in his mind when he met her. He had met her while he was still grieving Sydney.   
  
"One thing led to another, and before I knew it we got married, and you called."   
  
"And I called?!" she thought. He made it sound like she had interrupted his life by her waking up in the middle of an alley in Hong Kong, and the last thing she could remember was a fight that had, apparently, happened 2 years ago!! She wanted to lash out on him right then and there. But, she had bigger problems. Vaughn was just answering her question. She rethought his explanation. Most of it was reasonable. If she really HAD died, then she definitely wouldn't have wanted Vaughn mourning her all his life. But the thought of him marrying so soon was the thing that bewildered her.   
  
"She's taking this too well," he thought. A little TOO well, actually. He had expected her to punch him or kick him where it hurt. But she didn't. All she did was avoid his gaze. She was letting the information sink in. He remembered a time when he could read her very thoughts. Sadly, that was a time long gone. She was no longer that same woman who had been so thrilled about going to Santa Barbra. She was suddenly a woman trying to find something to hold onto and remember what happened to her in 2 years time. She was a woman who was confused.   
  
She couldn't move. She was frozen. She knew that her calm and cool exterior was fading fast. Instead of wanting to go back to LA, all she wanted to do was stay in Hong Kong. She prayed silently that this was all a dream. It had to be. No one could EVER be left unconscious for that long in an alley without anyone ever finding them and telling someone.   
  
"There anything else you want to know?" he asked, breaking Sydney's thoughts. Her eyes shot at him, and he felt as if she had actually shot him with that look. He realized his mistake.   
  
"Of course there are more things she wants to know!" he yelled at himself, silently. If she were a person who had a short temper, that would've done it. She would've smacked him right there. But, thankfully she didn't have a short temper. There were more things she wanted to know. Like, what happened to...everyone.   
  
"What happened to my mother?" she asked him.   
  
"From what I last heard, she's still out there."  
  
"My father?"   
  
"He's safe. He's back."   
  
"Sloane?"   
  
"Still out there."   
  
"Will?"   
  
"He got his job back. Along with a promotion." she smiled. At least ONE good thing happened while she was 'away'. She still wasn't looking at him. This was killing him. He wished that she wasn't the strong and stubborn person that she was so she could start crying and fall into his arms. As desperate as that seemed to be, he knew she wasn't going to do that. Sydney Bristow didn't fold that easily.   
  
"What about Marshall and Dixon? How are they?"   
  
"They're fine. They're still with the agency. They haven't changed one bit. Although, Marshall and Carrie are practically living together." That last comment almost made Sydney want to cry. That was the phase she and Vaughn were at about 2 years ago. He should've known better than to say that last line.   
  
"When can I go home?" she finally asked. Now, that was all she wanted to do. Go home, and cry. Only, she didn't really have a home to go to. She destroyed it during her fight with 'Francie'.   
  
"Tomorrow. We're going to be spending a night here. I found out before I came in that there's a heavy rainstorm in LA. Your father has all your belongings. So, you'll stay with him for the time being. Is that okay?"  
  
She nodded, "Yeah, that's fine." There was a silence that fell between them. Suddenly, Sydney felt as if she were that double agent and he was just her handler, all over again.   
  
"We have an early flight tomorrow. You should get some rest." he told her.   
  
"Thanks," she smiled back at him. Vaughn stood up and headed toward the door. But, he was stopped when Sydney grabbed his arm and hugged him. He didn't want to let go. But he knew he had to. She was no longer his.   
  
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So, what'd you think?! Tell me when you click that little button on the left to review this story!! More's on the way!! `=D 


	2. chapter 2

bAuthor's Note::/b In this chapter, Syd & Vaughn start to hear "voices" in their heads. More so than in the 1st chapter. And, lemme tell you, these voices are gonna be around til the ending of the story. But, you'll know the difference if whether or not it's the "voice" or Syd or Vaughn talking. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! Keep the reviews coming!! `=D   
  
/b I don't own anyone. *sigh* Vaughn. `=P   
  
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During the trip home, Sydney remained quiet. She didn't talk to anyone. Not even him, and he was sitting right next to her. All she did was look out the window, and tell the flight attedant that she wanted a drink. He couldn't blame her. He couldn't even bring himself to tell her straight out when she had asked him about the ring. He knew she knew he was stalling. She was never a big fan of silence, but the silence was keeping her company. She had heard enough from Vaughn. Even though she hadn't said one word to him since they got on the plane. She remembered hugging him the night before. Why did she do that?   
  
"Because you still love him and that was the only thing you could do to him that wouldn't make it look like he cheated on his WIFE." a voice said in her head.  
  
"Ugh, his WIFE." she silently repeated. "HE'S MARRIED NOW!!!!!!!" the scream was so loud in her head that it woke her up. Actually, it was Vaughn who woke her up. Thank God she had fallen asleep. If she hadn't, he would've felt more insecure than he already was. When they got outside of the airport, there was a car waiting for them. As they approached the car, she saw a familiar face standing right next to it.   
  
"Hey, Sydney," he said trying to make her smile.   
  
She smiled, "Hi Weiss."   
  
"How yah been?" he asked, as she got in the car.   
  
"I've been better. Thanks for asking." she shot a glare at Vaughn before closing the door.   
  
"How was it?" he asked Vaughn.   
  
"Later," Vaughn said as he brushed passed Weiss, and got in th e passenger seat. The car ride to the headquarters wasn't any different from the flight. Except, there was more distance between Sydney and Vaughn. Vaughn was in the passenger side, and Sydney sat right behind Weiss. Sydney looked out the window and tried to re-familiarize herself with the city. Weiss could literrally feel the tension between the two. He knew it would be useless to try and ease it up. So, he just stayed silent throughout the drive. Everything would've been great had Vaughn's phone not have gone off. It was Melanie. Sydney heard Vaughn's phone go off. She knew it was HER. She could tell by Vaughn's reluctance to answer it.   
  
"Uh huh. Yeah...Umm, I'll be home by at least tomorrow afternoon." she heard him say.   
  
"Yeah, alright. You too. Bye." he replied, and hung up.   
  
"HE'D BE HOME BY AT LEAST TOMORROW AFTERNOON?!" she thought.   
  
"Why don't you just go and walk home right now?!" the voice screamed in her head. Weiss could see the look on Sydney's face. He guessed that Sydney hadn't taken the news of Vaughn's marriage too well. Melanie had AWFUL timing. But, it was a relief to hear someone speak to him. What was Sydney thinking about back there? What was she thinking about on the plane? How to kill him and make it look like an accident?   
  
"Wait," he thought to himself.   
  
"Why am I the one who's feeling guilty?! I have NOTHING to be guilty about!! It was practically proven that she was dead. I did what ANY NORMAL person would do!!" he reassured himself.   
  
"So why do I STILL feel this way?" he thought.   
  
"You knew getting married to Melanie didn't feel right and yet you went ahead and did it. You gave up on Sydney. You're just as worse as the CIA was when they ended the search." said the voice in his head. He wanted to answer that voice back, but he didn't. They finally reached headquarters. Weiss decided to take over.   
  
"Um, Syd," Weiss began as they entered the building.   
  
"They're going to want to see you in evaluation. They're just going to give you some tests. You know, make sure you're okay. Physically and..."   
  
"Yeah. I know." she cut him off.   
  
"I'll show you the way." Weiss led Sydney through a door and walked her through the long corridor. After about the 1st five doors, he opened one.   
  
"Just put that on," he said pointing to the gown that was on the bed. "And, one of the doctor's should be in soon."   
  
"Okay. Thank you, Weiss."   
  
"No problem. You'll be back to kicking people's ass's soon enough." he joked, and closed the door.   
  
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"Okay, NOW," Weiss said to Vaughn when he got back into the main area. "Tell me what happened and why she looks like she wants to beat the living crap out of you." Vaughn ran his hand through his hair.   
  
"She saw the ring."   
  
"Well, of course she'd see that ring. Who'd miss it? What did you say?"   
  
"I told her everything. From that night when she fought with Francie up until now."   
  
"How did she take it?"   
  
"Surprisingly, she took it pretty well."   
  
Weiss was shocked by those words. "Wait," he began. "Are you telling me that...Sydney Bristow, the one woman who could kick your ass after what you told her...didn't even flinch?!" he said, still shocked.   
  
"I find that VERY hard to believe."   
  
"So do I. I guess she decided to spare me." Vaughn replied.   
  
"Vaughn, SPARE ME. If I were Syd, you wouldn't have made it out of Hong Kong in one piece."   
  
Vaughn rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Weiss."   
  
"So, does this mean you're coming back to the agency?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"Why not? We could surely use you around here again. And, you DID leave because of Sydney."   
  
"Yeah, so?"   
  
"Well, she may be the reason that could bring you back here." Vaughn looked at the door that led to the evaluation rooms.   
  
"I'll think about it." 


	3. chapter 3

------------------------------------flash forward 6 months.---------------------  
  
It was amazing how fast she got back into the swing of things. After her evaluation, the doctors said she was fine. Nothing out of the ordinary or anything. Except, they couldn't explain the scar on her stomach. Neither could she. So, she didn't pay the scar much attention. In practically no time at all, Sydney was back in action. And so was Vaughn. He was no longer her case handler, but he was also getting some field work too. Sydney didn't want to stay by herself, so she moved in with Will. Of course, after convincing him that she wasn't a ghost or anything like that. She and Will HAVE gotten closer but she still saw him as a friend. They even respect each other's privacy. She leaves the house if Will plans to bring a friend home. And he promised to do the same. That is, if Sydney WOULD get out and get a date for herself one day. Eventually, Sydney started speaking to Vaughn again. But, it wasn't the same anymore. She just kept it professional and she never asked about his wife. Then again, it still pained her to even THINK that he was married. Vaughn, on the other hand, couldn't understand one thing. Sydney, not once, had ever appeared mad at him. She talked to him, and whenever she did, she was always nice and polite, and talked to him like before. Except, he noticed something was usually missing from their conversations. He just didn't know what it was.   
  
"Agent Bristow, Agent Vaughn," Kendall began in the debrief room."You two are to go undercover in Italy and find a man named Nicholas Gryer."   
  
"Who is he?" Vaughn asked.   
  
"He's a powerful business man who has connections to nearly every kind of dealing there is. Legal AND illegal. We think he may have been or still is connected to Sloane. What BOTH of you have to do is get close to him. Close enough so you two can find out some information. Whether or not he's still connected to Sloane."   
  
"Alright, this seems easy enough," she thought. "Just as long as..."   
  
"You two will go undercover as a married couple. He's married, so I don't think you two will have to pick and choose of who you have to 'connect' with." Kendall finished. Her eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets. He had to be joking. He knew Kendall didn't like him very much, but that still gave him no right to pair him with the woman who could've killed him six months ago just because he was married.  
  
"Why? Does his wife know anything?" Sydney asked.   
  
"Not to our knowledge. But, you never know she could provide intel that we could use."  
  
"Anything else?" Vaughn asked.   
  
"He's throwing a charity ball for cancer research the night after you two arrive. That's the best place to catch them. You leave tonight at 11." he said, as he threw their assignment folders on the table and left the room. There was that awkward silence between them again.  
  
"Why is it that the worst men are always the married ones?" she asked as she looked through the folder.   
  
"Well, that was a shot," he thought to himself.   
  
"Oh, no offense." she said in a non-apologetic way.  
  
"None taken," he replied.   
  
"I'm going to go and get ready for the mission," she said a little brightly as she stood up and got out of the room.   
  
"Uh, yeah. Me too." he said as he followed her out the door.   
  
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"Ahh, so THAT's how she's going to kill you. Smart girl. No one`ll ever know." Weiss joked.   
  
"WHY are you taking her side?"   
  
"Because, I still believe that you, my friend, are in love with her. As wrong as it may seem. You knew I didn't want you to marry Melanie."   
  
"And that's why? Because you ASSUMED that I was still 'in-love' with my then 'dead girlfriend'?" he started to get a little frustrated.   
  
"Not only that, but because I also believed that you gave up too soon on Sydney." Excuse me?! GAVE UP?! He DID NOT give up!! In fact, he kept on looking for her after the CIA gave up and concluded that she was dead.   
  
"Sydney is very professional. Plus, she hasn't seemed angry at me. Not once, since she's been back."   
  
"True. It's not her I'm worried about, it's you. Don't forget, she's going to have some built up anger towards you. Being this close to you could put her a little over the edge. I mean, you two didn't exactly break up in the most 'formal' way. She's going to take ANY shot she can get. And I'm telling you, it's not going to be polite."   
  
Yeah, he knew that already. Lucky for him, Melanie was working late while he was getting ready for the mission. If she were home, she would've questioned him non-stop. He didn't tell her what he really did for a living, but all he would tell her was that he worked for the government. What scared him about the mission was the plane ride there. Would it be like when he picked her up in Hong Kong? Or would she actually speak to him? Now he realized what was missing in their conversations at work. They were no longer personal. He began to recount the conversations he had with her while they sat at their desks. She'd talk about the weather, hockey, baseball and even work. Those things were fine. But he missed how she'd just come to him and tell him things that bothered her. Why she was stressed out and what she hated about Kendall. He also lost his ability to read her mind. Back then, even before they were dating, he practically knew what she was thinking. WHY she was the way she was. He missed that ability. She once called him her 'guardian angel', did she still consider him that?   
  
Now, it was going to be weird. She didn't have a "safety net" anymore. She could no longer hide behind anything else. She'd have to face him. For the first time, she was going to be "insecure" around Michael Vaughn. She waited about 20 minutes for him at the airport. When she saw him coming, she took a deep breath and dove into her role as "Mrs. Kathleen Clarkson". As soon as she saw him coming, she went right up to him and kissed him softly on the lips. She could tell that the kiss caught him off guard.   
  
For as long as he`ll live, he`ll never forget the look she had in her eyes after she kissed him. It was the look of-   
  
She broke his thoughts, "C`mon dear, we have a flight to catch." she smiled, and picked up her bag. He quickly got himself together and realized that she was doing her part.  
  
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enjoyed it?? do your part!!! hehes. 


	4. chapter 4

Author's Note:: In my opinion, I really don't know if this is one of the BEST parts of the story. hehes. But, that's just me. So, if you don't like this part, I'm really sorry. `=(   
  
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The flight to Italy wasn't exactly a replica of the flight from Hong Kong, but it did bear a resemblence. She did speak to Vaughn, but never once went in too deep about any topic they talked about. Just enough to keep the conversation flowing. When they both got tired of talking, they both fell asleep. With her back to him. She couldn't take it. Being this close to him was going to kill her. She convinced herself to act like this was JUST a mission.   
  
"But it's not," the voice told her in her sleep. That voice was back in her head again. It was the same voice that had been in her head when she first came back from Hong Kong. It was the voice that kept pointing out the obvious to her. Sydney kept fighting with the voice during her first few weeks back. The only thing it wanted to talk about was Vaughn. After seeing Barnett, she never heard the voice again. That is, til now. The one thing Sydney hated about that damn voice was that it was always right. She knew the voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place as to where she had heard it before. Suddenly, the emotions she had felt that night for him came rushing back to her. Anger, betrayal, jelousy, loneliness and everything else in between she was beginning to feel again. Compressing your feelings in the course of 6 months wasn't healthy and she knew that. But, she had no choice.   
  
"Wrong, Sydney Bristow. You ALWAYS have a choice." said the voice again.   
  
He could picture Weiss' jaw dropping and eyes popping out when he'd tell him that Sydney had YET to take any mean shots at him. In fact, she was polite and even laughed a few times during their conversations. But, he noticed that she'd pull back when she'd realize that she was going in too far. Why wouldn't she talk to him anymore?   
  
"Amazing what a little thing like the 'love of your life' going missing for almost 2 years and you getting married in 9 months time since can do to two people. Admit it. On some level you STILL love her. You love her more than Melanie." said the voice in his head. Okay, so all that WAS true. He was still in love with Sydney. But what could he do? He couldn't just divorce Melanie because his presumed-dead girlfriend was back. That would make him look like a jerk.   
  
"And marrying Melanie within 9 months of Sydney's disappearance DOESN'T make you one?" it answered.  
  
The voice in HIS head was familiar, also. But he couldn't think of where he had heard it. The last 3 hours of the flight, Vaughn stayed awake, and watched the inflight movie. He could no longer sleep because of the voice in his head. From time to time, he could see Sydney shifting in her seat during her sleep. She was obviously working too much, and this was probably the only time she had to sleep. They finally arrived in Italy late that evening.   
  
"THIS is DEFINITELY going to be an experience," he thought as they got off the plane.   
  
"Lord help me," she thought. Entering the hotel, anyone could've seen that Mr. and Mrs. Adam Clarkson were a happily married socialite couple. They were able to fool everyone from the concierge to the bell boy who showed them their room. When the door closed, Sydney stopped smiling. Unfortunately, there was only one bed.   
  
"Do you want the bed?" Vaughn asked.   
  
"If you want it, that's fine. I can sleep on the couch." she replied.   
  
"Well, no. But, we have to make every part of this mission convincing. So, I think we both have to sleep on the bed." This was ridiculous!! It was like they had just met and they didn't know what to do with the other. Sydney wanted to avoid fighting with Vaughn, so she gave in. She knew she didn't have to tell Vaughn his "restraints", because he already knew them. Too bad it was TOO tempting for Vaughn. They stayed up an hour later to discuss their plan for the dinner party the following evening.   
  
"So we've both got about 45 minutes in total to talk to them and get the intel we need." he said.   
  
"Well, what if his wife doesn't know anything? Then I'll have wasted 45 minutes talking to HER, instead of helping you get the intel from Nicholas."   
  
"I think I can swing him by myself. But, if his wife doesn't know anything, then just tell me through the com-link."   
  
"Alright. I can do that." she yawned. "Sorry. I must be tired from the flight."   
  
"It's okay. I think we should sleep anyway." he said. She climbed in the bed, and put a pillow between them. She turned off the lights and closed her eyes. It was odd. With him there, she didn't feel scared or frightened that she might get caught of something. She just felt...relaxed. She hadn't felt like that in ages. More like, almost 2 years. He heard her breathe heavily and didn't stop to wonder why. It almost sounded like a sigh of relief. The next morning, Sydney awoke to a beautiful Italian sun that was ready to greet her. She remembered dreaming about something that felt wonderful and she didn't know what it was. She looked over and saw Vaughn, still asleep. He looked deathly handsome when he was asleep and she had forgotten that because she spent half the flight with her back to him. She felt his arm around her. Somehow during the night, she must've rolled a little over the pillow and he caught her. Now she knew what that 'wonderful feeling' was. It was his embrace. Ugh, she missed it so badly. She slowly got up and got dressed.   
  
"Don't kid yourself," she thought. "He's married."   
  
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he loves her like he loved you," replied the voice. What was this voice getting at?!   
  
"He still loves you. Marrying Melanie...or any other female on this planet, was a mistake. He got married to get over YOU."   
  
"People just don't get married because they're trying to get over someone. They get married because they love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Vaughn doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with me. He wants Melanie. No, he HAS Melanie." she retaliated.   
  
"Look into the man's eyes. What do you think he sees?" the voice asked her. Sydney took a good look at herself in the bathroom mirror. "He sees the woman who can go through nearly everything and anything and come out of it unscathed. He sees the woman who fought for the life she wanted. He sees the woman who used to fight for LOVE."   
  
"That woman doesn't exist anymore," she thought and threw the cup at the mirror causing it to shatter and wake Vaughn up.  
  
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tell me what`yah think!! `=D 


	5. chapter 5

Author's Note:: Sorry for the LONG wait! I've just been busy. Anyways, there's one more chapter left after this. And then, it'll be up to you if I continue the story or not. hehes. Wells, I hope you guys enjoy the story.   
  
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The sound of glass breaking made him jump out of bed and find out where the sound had come from. He ran to the bathroom where he found Sydney picking the pieces of the mirror up off the floor.   
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, as he bent down to help her pick up the pieces.   
  
"Uh, yeah." she said and threw the pieces into the trash can. He examined her carefully, she seemed shaken. "You want me to get you some water?"   
  
She let out a deep sigh, "No, I'm fine." They finished throwing away the pieces of the mirror and he left her in the bathroom to continue doing whatever it was she was doing. Vaughn became concerned, what happened that caused the mirror to break? He knew she was trying to down play whatever it was that was running through her mind, but he wanted to know. Asking her straight out wouldn't seem right, especially with their "condition". She had made it subtly clear to him that he could no longer make anything personal with her, ever again. The doctors told him that it would be impossible for her to regain her stature as an agent, but she had proven them wrong. Even though she appeared normal, something inside of him felt otherwise.   
  
All through her shower, she thought of why she had to shatter the mirror. "Ugh, of all things to break," she said to herself. For the rest of the day, she and Vaughn walked around the area of where the party was going to be held that night. After that, Sydney went to sleep. She had been doing that a lot lately. But, that was the only thing she could do to make sure that she didn't hear that voice in her head again. As he watched her sleep, he sensed her unrest.   
  
"Doesn't matter how long she sleeps, she still has to face reality. A reality she hates now because of you." said the voice in his head. The voice seemed to want to make him feel guilty about marrying Melanie. As much as he wanted to retaliate, he didn't. Whatever power the voice possesed in making him feel guilty and thinking twice about EVERYTHING, it was working. Sydney slept til about 6pm. Her sleep for once, had been peaceful. She began to get ready for the mission. She noticed that the mirror in the bathroom had been repaired.   
  
An hour later, she and Vaughn were dressed, and ready for the mission. Vaughn was nearly breathless when he saw her in a red [hott!] dress with a bit of a low neckline and hugged her in the right places. While he was doing that, she too also noticed how handsome he looked in his tux.   
  
"This is JUST A MISSION," she silently reminded herself, as she took Vaughn's arm and headed down to the ballroom.   
  
"Yeah, right." said the voice, smugly.   
  
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Once the party began, Sydney and Vaughn separated. Although, she seemed more eager than him to do so.   
  
"See them yet?" Sydney asked through her com-link.   
  
"No, and where are you?" he looked around.   
  
"Relax, DEAR, I'm just getting myself something to drink." she said, as the bartender [who was Weiss] handed her a drink.   
  
"Thanks." she replied, and went back to looking for the couple, or at least the wife. Weiss could only shake his head to keep himself from laughing.  
  
"Ohh, great," Vaughn thought to himself. "She has to be DRUNK to do this mission?!"   
  
"Hey, whatever helps a girl," replied the voice. He was beginning to recognize the voice, but was still nowhere near of figuring out who it sounded like. Suddenly, Vaughn spotted Nicholas Gryer and his wife, Emma.   
  
"Syd, heads up, his wife Emma is headed your way. White dress and pearls on." he whispered into the com-link. Sydney chugged down the last of her martini, and looked for the woman Vaughn just described. She saw a woman in her early-mid forties walking in her direction, white dress and all.   
  
"Hi, Emma Gryer?" Sydney greeted in her politest voice. It had been awhile since she used it.   
  
"Yes?" the woman answered.   
  
"I'm Kathleen Clarkson, I'm one of the donator's for your charity, and I think that what you're doing here is wonderful. We really should be more aware of the disease. Especially one that spreads quickly."   
  
"Why, thank you. Believe it or not, I had to persuade my husband, Nicholas, to let me throw this party. He didn't want me to throw this little shindig, because he said it would cost too much. So, I said, c`mon honey, just once? And he gave in!" she laughed. Sydney laughed along with the woman as she digested the information.  
  
"Husbands can be such sticklers, can't they?"   
  
"ALL husbands are. But, what do you expect? They're men. Would you like a drink?" the lady offered.   
  
"Uh, why not?! It's a party."   
  
"Wonderful!! Bartender, 2 white wines, please." Weiss served the older lady and Sydney their white wines, and they left to join the other women.   
  
"Seriously, how much alcohol does this woman NEED?!" Weiss said to Vaughn on the com-link. He wasn't having much luck with Nicholas. Vaughn saw Sydney walk into the other room with Mrs.Gryer.   
  
"I heard that," Sydney muttered to Weiss through the link. Sydney talked up Emma and the other ladies in the room. She got more intel from Emma than Vaughn did Nicholas. Sydney could clearly hear the conversation that was going on between the men. He needed help.   
  
"Pardon me, ladies," Sydney said getting up. "But, I hear a slow song, and I want to get my husband out on the dance floor." The ladies let her through and she went in search of Vaughn.   
  
"Yeah, good luck in getting Vaughn to dance. The man has two left feet." Weiss said. He was clearly enjoying this.   
  
"I heard that too," Vaughn said softly. Sydney finally found Vaughn with a group of men, including Nicholas.   
  
"Excuse me," she began, as she broke into the group. "But, may I borrow my husband for a minute?" The men in the group took one look at her and immediately said yes.   
  
"You're a lucky one, Clarkson!" yelled one of the men as she pulled him away.   
  
"They're drunk, aren't they?" she asked as they took a spot on the dance floor.  
  
He let out a small laugh, "Yeah, I think they are." The song was one of Sydney's favorites, "My Everything" by 98 degrees. Even though they were a boy band of long ago, she still liked this song. Someone must've heard her need to hear the song again. Weiss saw the pair out on the dance floor, and quietly turned off his link.  
  
"So, what did you find out?" he asked her, in an almost business-only like tone.   
  
"Nicholas isn't the businessman Kendall thinks he is." she began. "It was Emma's idea to throw this party. AND, it's her family's company. When she and Nicholas got married, she gave it to him as a wedding gift."   
  
"And from the talks I had with Nicholas before, it's obvious that he has no ties to Sloane. Or ever had any. He's done illegal dealing, but whatever the deals were, he took them all and made them legal." he said to her.  
  
"So, they're both clean."   
  
"You know, Kendall's going to be mad when he finds out that they've got nothing on Gryer," he said, softly. She smiled, the widest he'd ever seen her smile in a long time.   
  
"I know. He sent us here for nothing." she was loosing herself in the moment. She wasn't fighting it, though.  
  
"Well, maybe not for 'nothing'," he said. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. She looked too beautiful, and the mood was perfect. He leaned in. She was nearly caught off guard by him, and pulled away immediately. Vaughn could kill himself! She was suddenly a little scared, as she felt frozen on the floor. With nothing else left for her to do, she ran out of the ballroom. Vaughn ran after her.  
  
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Okay, soO it may have gotten a lil bad...at least, im MY POV. But, tell me something I don't know. Pls. review!!! `=D 


	6. baby, its just emotions

Author's Note:: Okay, last chapter. I've got nothing else to say...other than thanks to everyone who reviewed the story. So, enjoy!!! `=D   
  
P.S.- the inspiration for this story was the song 'emotions' by destiny's child. So, if you wanna, you can listen to the song after reading this last bit. hehes. `=D Enjoy!!!!!   
  
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Outside, she was able to breathe. "What were you thinking?!" she nearly yelled at herself. "He's married!"   
  
"What the heck's the matter with you?!" yelled the voice. "He was showing you that he still LOVES you!"   
  
"Syd!!" she heard him yell. She turned to see him catch up to her.   
  
"Vaughn," she started softly. "You're married." He looked down at the ground, ashamed of himself for what he nearly did.   
  
"I know. But, I couldn't help it. I HAD to know whether or not you still felt the same way." She wasn't looking at him. And who could blame her? Even HE didn't want to look at himself. She found his gaze again and there were tears in her eyes.   
  
"Of course I do!!!" she screamed. "But I can't do anything about it because you're MARRIED!!!" The look in her eyes said it all. He remembered the look she had after she had kissed him at the airport. It was the same look she had now. It was the look of LOVE. She felt her tears pour out.   
  
"How could you do that to me?!"   
  
"I tried EVERYTHING humanly possible to prove to the CIA that you weren't dead!!" he yelled back.   
  
"Then I guess it wasn't enough, now was it?" her tears were nearly uncontrollable, now. "There are things I can accept, VAUGHN. Losing my fiancee and my best friend because of this thankless job, was one thing." He could sense her anger. That, and every other emotion she had surpressed in the course of 6 months. She was ready to explode.   
  
"But losing the ONE person who mattered to me, the ONE person who said he'd always be there for me, the ONE person who, at the end of the day, I knew I could run to and cry to, because he knew that I didn't have to be solid as a rock all the time, is the ONE THING that I cannot ACCEPT!!!"   
  
"And how do you think I felt?! Learning that you were DEAD, and then hearing that you were alive nearly 2 YEARS after, was something that was harder to swallow, Sydney!!"   
  
"How long did it take you to get over me, Vaughn?! Huh?!" she shoved him away. "A day? A week? A month?"   
  
"Til the day I got married," he said softly. "And after that." Her face softened. She had reacted as if she had heard someone say it before. Sydney immediately remembered the voice that would not leave her alone in her head.   
  
"He got married to get over YOU," she remembered. Finally, she recognized the voice in her head. It was Vaughn's voice!!!  
  
"Did you know that I've hated my life for the last 6 months because of you?" she asked softly. "I've hated reality since the moment you told me that you were married." her tears came back. Vaughn had heard that phrase before. It was the voice in HIS head. Now he knew who it was. It was Sydney's voice!!   
  
"And do YOU KNOW how much I've been beating myself up for it? I married her to get over YOU. But, it's not working. I'm still in love with you. And no matter HOW HARD I've tried to fight it in the last 6 months, it just keeps getting stronger. You know why?!"   
  
"Why?" she asked, her tone still in anger.   
  
"Because every DAMN time I see you, I'm reminded of what we had, and what we could've had. And now, MY LIFE is a mess because you're back in it, and I can't have YOU. I could divorce Melanie and marry you, but that wouldn't do me any good, because I would hurt Melanie in a way that I would NEVER want to hurt ANYONE. But, I'm almost WILLING to do it...FOR YOU." Sydney couldn't believe what she was hearing.   
  
She raised her hand and it hit him square across the face. "You have NO RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT!!" she yelled back at him. She sighed and took a minute to recollect herself and be calm. "This is more than just you being married," she said, but choked on her tears.   
  
"What is it about, then?" he had never felt so much emotion at one time. It was as if EVERY emotion that could possibly exist was surging through him and coming out through his mouth.   
  
"It's about YOU, my guardian angel, not being there when I needed you the most." The words hit him like a ton of bricks.   
  
Her tone softened,"Rebuilding a life that I lost in two years in the course of 6 months, and then compressing my feelings towards you, is something that I couldn't handle by myself. But somehow I managed to do it."   
  
"If anything, I've wished countless times for you to just fall back into my arms, so I could make anything that hurt you stop. But, you've made it clear that you don't need me anymore."   
  
"As untrue as that is, the fact remains that you're married to her. And you can't do anything to change that, because whatever you do to try and change your relationship with Melanie, you're going to factor ME into it."   
  
"I don't want to be the deciding factor of whether or not you stay with your wife. I wouldn't be able to have that on my conscience." She realized what she had to do in order for him to not do anything that would jeopardize his marriage. And so they both could have a sense of closure. She couldn't live like this anymore. She couldn't sacrifice her life if it meant for her not to be with the one man she ever really loved. Vaughn realized where this was going. Sydney was GIVING him up.   
  
"Don't do this," he began.   
  
"I have to," she whispered. She came closer to him, put her hand on his cheek, and kissed him.   
  
After the kiss, she looked into his eyes. She wanted to remember the way he looked at her after that kiss. She felt as if she were going to start crying all over again.   
  
"Goodbye, Michael Vaughn," she softly whispered. And with one last gaze, she turned and went back to the hotel. By the time he got there, she was gone.   
  
-THE END-  
  
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Or, is it? I'm thinking of doing a 2nd part to this. But, I don't know yet. So, help me out!!! Review!!! `=D 


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